1 post tagged “miscarry”

Can’t believe I haven’t written since Saturday…
Before I try to catch up, I wanna mention some exciting news – Jessica and I are leaving on July 26th and we’ll arrive in the States on Sunday the 27th! Originally we were planning to leave on August 2nd, however at the rate our work is progressing, we realized that we will have completed our interviews, surveys, and house visits by next week. After that point, any extra days we spend here will be eating up our money via costs of accommodations, transportation, food, etc…. not to mention how every day means another day for Greg, our parents, Sumi, Epiphanie, and the rest of the ZOE staff to worry about our safety and ensure that we have something to do each day. Having already visited the game park, planning to spend this weekend in Kigali, and seeing the gorillas on the 25th, there aren’t many major attractions that Greg and Epiphanie think we should see before leaving (or at least, any that would require us spending an extra week here when we could be home). So I’m really happy that it’ll just be about a week and a half before I’ll finally be home since May! Yayyyy!
Ok, here it goes...
In the morning on Sunday we went to a Baptist church with the mission team from the U.S. Just like the Presbyterian church we went to before, it wasn’t a huge church, no more than 100 people, and half of them were constantly singing and dancing. It was very overwhelming – I was caught between wanting to jump in and go crazy with them, and just watching silently in awe of the dozens of men and women of all ages who looked impossibly happy. Most of the time I was watching these two little girls. Neither of them could’ve been more than two years old. One was wearing a polka dot dress and was clearly going to be an amazing dancer in a few years; she could already clap and stamp her feet perfectly in time while singing and spinning around. The other was named Benita. She was wearing a pink dress and didn’t leave my and Jessica’s laps the whole time. They were both too adorable. How old do you have to be to legally adopt kids?
That afternoon we visited two homes that ZOE has built for orphan-headed households. Both of them were immaculate and they’d clearly cleaned up knowing that visitors would be there. Greg showed them video footage he’d taken during his last visit and they went crazy whenever they saw themselves on the video. Every child and adult here has had the same reaction when we take a picture of them – they want to see it immediately. Very few of them have mirrors, so to see an image of themselves is a real treat. Coming from a place where we take pictures on a regular basis and look in the mirror countless times a day, I can’t even imagine how curious they are to see their own face frozen in time.
The community where these homes were cooked a feast of rice, beans, and cassavas for us. We felt too guilty to take much food though so we took very little and gave most of it to the children. There was one girl who was handicapped whom we made sure to give extra food to because she was clearly an outcast and had last-pick. While the other kids were running about playing with each other, she was sitting off to the side on the grass with her head ducked, avoiding eye-contact, trying to conceal how one leg and one arm was abnormally small. In the States, it’s so fortunate how handicap-accessible public places has become a norm – and if you don’t agree, you need to see how much of a struggle life is for those with handicaps in most of the rest of the world, especially here in Rwanda. She is not only rejected from her peer group, but even her own family. She explained how her parents decided when they want to feed her and when they allow her to sleep in the house. So, Dad, next time you joke about doing that to me, it will NOT BE FUNNY! :)

Monday we visited the National Museum of Rwanda located here in Butare and we (along with the US team) spent 2 beautiful hours in the giftshop. I wish I were kidding. But trust me, it was worth it – the best quality stuff for the best prices. We found stuff there that we haven’t seen anywhere else, and apparently Jess was able to buy gifts for her entire family (meaning like all 1895745 people) for about $100. True story.
    Also at the museum, a group of traditional dancers and singers put on a special performance for us, which was INTENSE. The guys especially were pretty hardcore with their spears and shields, jumping high in the air and landing in lunges that could not be good for your knees (chya, as a runner, I’m one to talk). The best part came at the end when they pulled us into their group and had us mimic their movements. Before I got dragged off, I captured a few seconds of Jessica dancing on video which is SO coming out at her wedding. Greg, if you got me on video, I’m ordering you to delete it NOW!!!
    Afterward we visited a construction site where the community was working with ZOE to build a home for a Giving Hope orphan that I got to interview the next day. At the beginning of our interview, he told me how afraid he was because he thought he wouldn’t be able to answer many of the questions since he didn’t have a place to live. He has been wandering from house to house in the community begging to sleep on a neighbor’s floor; otherwise he sleeps outside. Imagine not having a place to belong to, no place to come home to, for years… and now dozens of people in your community are building a house for you. He didn’t even have to say how ecstatic he was – anyone could see it.
    Another boy we visited had put so much effort into ensuring that he had a respectable home for himself and his sisters – a cow, chickens, toilet, kitchen, good doors… He was so proud to show us everything. The story about his older sister was unbelievable. She is mentally challenged and disappeared for three years; her brother had no idea where she was. And when he found her again, she must have been raped because she was pregnant. She vanished for a few days again, and when she came back she was no longer pregnant. Did she miscarry? Did she give birth and give the baby to someone else? Did she abandon it in some unknown place? To this day no one knows what happened to the baby.
    
    On Tuesday and Wednesday, we did more interviews and surveys in the Huye district. Nothing particularly notable happened… aside from maybe our lunch at The Chinese Restaurant. Yep, it’s seriously called “THE Chinese Restaurant,” and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the only one in the country. The great part was that it was about the most un-Asian restaurant I’ve ever seen. The decorations were Caribbean/Rwandan/Christmas (?) style: Caribbean being the straw shacks that housed a couple booths, Rwandan being the antelope horns on the walls, Christmas being the two fake Christmas trees in the middle of the room and red lights shaped like strawberries hung between the horns and a wooden mask. They say only rednecks keep their Christmas lights up all year long but… guess not, haha.
    Oh yeah, Wednesday we had a kinda exasperating day at work. It was much like what happened our last day working in Gitarama when twice as many orphans showed up than should have. Epiphanie has selected specific heads of households whom she believes collectively give an accurate representation of the orphans within the community that Giving Hope has assisted. We don’t have enough time to interview all of them even if we wanted to, nor have we brought enough gifts for all of them. Receiving the gifts after being interviewed seemed to be the main reason why so many extra people came hoping we’d interview them. They don’t realize, however, that this is taking advantage of our time and our translators’ time. Jessica had almost completed an interview before we realized that orphan was not supposed to be there. When we both spoke to the entire group and told them that those not invited had to leave or else no one would be interviewed or get gifts, it still took over half an hour of pleading before some of them admitted they weren’t invited and left.

    Work today went much more smoothly. We only had six people and they were the most friendly, patient, polite group I can remember working with so far. They seemed to be very connected with each other - laughing, talking, and playing together like a pack of happy school kids while the others were being interviewed. They were also very honest; today was the first time I’ve heard an orphan admit that he doesn’t always abstain from having sex. Although I do believe that they do recognize that abstinence is the best way to avoid getting HIV/AIDS, I find it hard to believe that out of a group of the 60 or so people we’ve interviewed, only one of them ever has sex since joining the Giving Hope program. This might seem to be a pessimistic assumption, but I think it’s pretty reasonable.
    After lunch, our translator Marta took us to the marketplace to shop for some “Africana cloth,” as we call it. We felt very safe with her because she’s a very well educated, street-smart woman and she definitely understands how American tourists like us operate. I did mistakably whip out my camera at one point and get swallowed in a mob… JUST kidding! This marketplace experience was much better than the last – no hassle, and we found really pretty pieces of cloth for like $4 each that we could make into dresses, bandanas, tablecloths, basically anything… Well, at least I thought the two I picked out were pretty, but Martha looked at one of them, gasped, and exclaimed, “What? WHY do you want to buy that?!” Ouch!!! Hahah I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. We just might wear them to work tomorrow ‘cause we know Martha, Olivier, and the orphans will get such a kick out of us muzungos trying to pull off the Africana look!